One Million Thank Yous

We cannot THANK YOU enough! Y’all, we did it. God did this.

We reached our $45,000 fundraising goal and we couldn’t have done it without each one of you.

Do you know why we have these fundraisers? We believe that everyone should have the access to the same high quality of mental health care, regardless of income.

What we see so often is: sessions are very expensive, and the mental health care is excellent. But only the affluent can afford these sessions. Or, sessions are paid for my medicaid or they are very reduced rate through a community agency. But the therapists are burnt out and overloaded, and the quality of mental health care just isn’t the same. We want to bridge that gap, and we do so by partnering with the local Church and other faith organizations!

Whether you are working with us in therapy for 6 months or 2.5 years, we will financially support you if you need it. Mental health counseling should not be a luxury item. Mental health is as important as physical health.

Our data shows us that 40% of the clients we serve cannot afford full rate sessions. We don’t only work with clients who need financial assistance, and we don’t only work with those who do not need assistance. That’s the point.

Everyone deserves really good therapy. Our community can come together and make sure that happens.

Let’s talk about…attachment.

Written by: Andrea Paiva, Licensed Associate Professional Counselor

One of the follow up questions I get asked when telling people what I do for a living is “what made you want to get into that?” I normally have a moment of pause and inner dialogue. Hmm…how much should I share? It’s always fun to be two minutes into a conversation with someone new or a big group of people and all of the sudden I am sharing my life’s testimony of inner healing. Truly, I never mind it. It’s a joy to share what God has done. Some variation of how I was someone who lived with hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and low self esteem, and then Christ, along with the community of believers and therapy helped me to heal emotionally and spiritually. I always add, “How could I experience this healing and not share this hope with others?” It’s the greatest joy to walk in my God-given purpose as a mental health counselor.

It’s so like Him to use our greatest areas of suffering and make it into our ministry to others. 

A lot like my own story, healing often happens when we have corrective emotional experiences with others. When the brain has a moment and says, oh, I thought things were this way, but this new experience is allowing me to see things differently. For me, my relationship with God, with the body of believers and with my therapist was pivotal. In the context of counseling, the therapeutic relationship between client and therapist (the attachment) is the greatest predictor of change and healing. To put it plainly, relationships are empowering. Whereas, trauma produces a sense of powerlessness within us. 

1 Corinthians 13:3 highlights the importance of faith, hope and love in our walk with the Lord. These are the very things that trauma steals from people. It distorts the very vision of the person where it’s difficult to see how hope can come in once again. It warps the way we view ourselves, God, others and the world. Trauma seeks to isolate us. In that void, dark and alone, Is the breeding ground for the voices in our head to whisper “You’re all alone,” “Something is wrong with you,” “This is all your fault.” Where trauma paralyzes us, faith, hope and love empower us to move forward. When we are unable to hold that kind of hope, our therapist can, our community can, God can. 

 2 Corinthians 1:4 states, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 

As therapists, we get to play the role of new attachment figures for our clients. Having experienced the comfort that we receive from God as His children, we get to provide that comfort back to our clients in the context of the therapeutic relationship.

Attachment is a psychology term that means the emotional bond between a human and its parent figure or caregiver; it is developed as a step in establishing a feeling of security and demonstrated by calmness while in the parent's or caregiver's presence.

Unfortunately, not all of us got to experience that kind of attachment from our caregivers growing up.

To some of us, it’s the most foreign thing we could imagine.

 Forming this secure attachment with our clients in their suffering and pouring out the comfort God has given to us is an honor. To sit across from our clients in their most vulnerable moments and hold on to hope when their hope has been shattered makes this really sacred work. The psychology phrase “unconditional positive regard” is one of the skills that makes a therapist great and leads to the best outcomes for their clients. It’s the same unconditional love that God gives us, right in the middle of where we are, no matter what we’ve done, and who we’ve been that is healing. This kind of love says, “I see you, I believe in you and I’m not going anywhere.” This is attachment. This is empowering. Where trauma sought to disempower and discourage, this new relationship between client and therapist has the ability to restore faith, hope and love as God had originally intended in the beginning.

In my own experience, as a therapist who works with trauma, seeing my clients recognize when trauma memories no longer have a hold on them, seeing them no longer live with distorted thoughts of themselves and watching them walk in new found freedom is one of my favorite parts of this work. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else!

Written by: Andrea Paiva, Licensed Associate Professional Counselor

Let’s Talk About…Our Self-Talk

One thing we work on often in therapy is noticing the inner critic, and greeting her with curiosity (I’m using “her” just because it's coming from my point of view. While you read this as a male, change the hers for hims, etc.)

For some, curiosity might sound like asking yourself:

Where is this coming from?

What does she want me to be aware of?

How can I offer grace to myself here?

Criticism feels an awful lot like inner turbulence and may even sound like things you would never say to a friend or loved one.

Things like:

I’m such an idiot, I can’t believe I did that again.

God, I hate myself.

This is why I suck.

This is why no one will ever love me.

Whew.

Could you imagine ever saying these things to someone you love? And certainly if you can, that’s a pretty big indication that that relationship is likely not healthy or safe. That’s pretty big: realizing our self talk can be an indication that our relationship with ourselves may not be healthy or safe. If that’s true, it would make a lot of sense that you may often feel like you’re struggling.

You are the one and only you that you are ever going to have. It’s so important that we speak to ourselves and let our inner dialogue/self talk sound like we are speaking to a friend. No one will be as close to you as you are, so it’s important to make sure that relationship is kind, healthy, and fortified.

Greet yourself, your flaws, your inner critic with curiosity rather than criticism next time and see how that might begin to change the relationship you have with yourself. This adjustment will take time, and it may not feel genuine at the beginning. That’s okay- you’re healing a hurting relationship.

Go slow.

Give grace.

Keep going.

And reach to get started in counseling if you’re looking for help!

Let’s Talk About Anxiety

You know what we love to talk about? Anxiety.

So let’s give that topic a few minutes of our care and attention.

Anxious thoughts, for example, can be seen as trains that come and go through a station. Sometimes we can just stand on the platform and watch the train go by, while other times we may want to get on the train and ride it for a very long time. But we get to decide if we let our train pass or if it stops for a while. This is hard work, but definitely good work if we struggle with anxiety.

Try observing or getting curious about your anxiety rather than getting lost in the experience of your anxiety. Not trying to diagnose the situation or even trying to fix yourself. Just mindfully observing your anxiety in real time.

When your mind has anxious thoughts, it’s just trying to protect you by predicting what could happen. But it’s important to remember that just because something could happen doesn’t mean that it will or that it already has (like when we sometimes believe we can read a person’s mind). So next time you begin noticing your anxiety has paid you a visit again, try observing it with curiosity and then letting your train (the thoughts) pass your station without getting on.

Consider this a little experiment. How did it feel? How long did the anxious feeling last? Did you act on your anxiety or were you able to simply observe it?

Pay attention to what your body is telling you. Where are you holding tension? What sensations do you feel in your body?

Our mind and our bodies are interconnected and they absolutely work together for our good, delivering messages in a variety of different ways. Isn’t that incredible to think about?

For me, the first place I feel sensations is in my chest and stomach. When these two places feel uneasy, I know I need to pay close attention and check in with myself about what I’m worried about or what unpleasant thoughts I’m holding on to.

Our bodies are powerful and they absolutely tell us what they need. When we give ourselves opportunities to slow down and pay attention to them, they often reveal that there’s something more specific going on inside our minds. In fact, this is exactly why meditating does not come easy to most people. Meditating, or clearing your mind and focusing on your breathing or on a specific scripture, almost forces yourself to pay attention to what your body has to say. And often that’s when a person might feel the unpleasant stomach, chest, etc sensations. That’s the body saying “pay attention to me, I have something to say.” And many of us have gotten used to avoiding what our body is telling us because it’s hard to feel it and listen to it.

Try this, lay on your bed and look up at your ceiling. Find a 10-20 minute guided meditation on YouTube and see what comes up for you during this time.  Maybe it’ll be an easy relaxation time for you, or maybe it’ll be a challenge to stick with it for the whole 20 minutes. Either way, it can be a chance to grow and might even reveal something to you that your body wants you to know.

Alexandra Thompson, LCSW

Executive Director