Staying Afloat Amidst Chaos

Photo by Haley Phelps on Unsplash

There’s a theory that I use with many of my clients that can be broadly explained as ‘the science of safety and connection,’ which provides a tangible way to help understand and navigate our experiences.

One of the core concepts is the idea that unconsciously, we are each always scanning for ‘cues of safety’ and ‘cues of danger’ that lead to shifts in our bodies and our thinking, based on our God-given instincts to find safety.

This might seem like a strange idea to bring up in a short letter like this, but I believe it’s important when we’re trying to navigate our lives.

With busy schedules, ever-changing pressures & needs, and a seemingly endless news cycle of chaos, it’s a fair question: how do we stay afloat?

If you’re willing to accept the premise that we’re always scanning for ‘cues of safety’ and ‘cues of danger,’ I hope to provide a helpful place to start. When so much of the external might feel unsafe or out of control, can we adjust the lens to focus closer?

Can you notice what’s happening inside of yourself: When you haven’t eaten, do you often feel more stress? As you read this, are your shoulders raised or your jaw clenched? What changes if you breathe, just for 10 seconds, slowly and into your stomach instead of your chest? These (and other internal) things might sound small, but I challenge you to notice them.

What about relational? Are there times you have experienced others as safe or calming? Are there ways you find connection easier or harder with yourself, with others, with God? Maybe there’s no easy answer, but exploring questions like this can help us to make seemingly small adjustments throughout the day.

I’ll leave you with a thought: What if everyone within your community felt even just 5% safer, calmer, more connected?