May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

Video: Cumberland Community Church Family Moment | Pastor Courtney Harkness w/ Alexandra Thompson, LCSW

Did you know that counseling is one of the healthiest things you can do for your mental health? And did you know that there is no total health unless you also include mental health?

Therapy is not:

1. passive.

2. a conversation with a friend.

3. a place where someone tells you what to do.

4. a venting sesh.

Therapy is:

1. active collaboration.

2. an intimate, completely non-judgmental therapeutic relationship with someone who helps you identify problems, set goals for yourself and monitors your progress.

3. for absolutely everyone, at times.

Designating one month out of the year to be Mental Health Awareness Month is important because it’s all about reducing any remaining stigma around treating your mental health. In fact, some Christians still believe that reaching out for therapy is communicating that Jesus isn't enough, as if God hasn't always used people to help carry out his plan for healing in our lives. Or that because we Biblically understand God as our Great Counselor, we shouldn’t need any other counselor. But if you think about it, we don’t tell our doctors we don’t need them because Jesus is our Divine Physician. We don’t tell our pastors we don’t need them because Jesus is our Good Shepherd, am I right?

A few of the foundations for self-control, an important Biblical principle, are self-awareness and self-care, topics we discuss in therapy. You see, it's not negating God's power to go to a therapist, it's giving you more opportunity to be confronted by it.

We believe that counseling is actually one of the most intimate forms of discipleship. Think about it! Discipleship is: loving people with intention, helping them grow and leading them into a deeper relationship with Jesus.

As we come to the end of Mental Health Awareness month, let’s flip that old script.

1. Let’s talk about how therapy is absolutely a sign that you are among the strongest people. And that therapy is, at times, for everyone. Including you.

2. Let’s encourage people to be fully healthy, both physically and mentally.

3. And let’s remind them of how therapy is intimate discipleship.

Do you know what Cumberland Counseling is all about? We help churches have on-site, fully functioning, Clinical Mental Health Centers at their communities’ fingertips. Our counseling services are designed to not just serve Church-goers, but all community members! And though our sessions are self-pay the way any community mental health center would be, we do offer a sliding scale fee so that we don't turn people away just for income.

Reach out so we can come together. Let's draw more awareness to our mental health this month and all year long!

Warmly,

Cumberland Counseling Team

Someone will always have it worse than you.

Hello Friend,

Are you familiar with Survivors’ Guilt? It’s when feelings of guilt arise because you made it through something very difficult or traumatic that others were more negatively affected by. We all know the idea of “surviving a car crash when the passenger did not.” Or “beating the very same form of cancer that your family member or friend did not.” This is how most of us relate to Survivor’s Guilt.

But did you know that Survivors’ Guilt can creep up in more subtle ways? You might even be feeling some Survivors’ Guilt right now – in our current political climate.

Subtle Forms of Survivors’ Guilt:

1. In the event that you survived ongoing family trauma - perhaps your sibling outwardly struggles much harder than you do. Maybe the sibling now struggles with mental health issues, addiction, life-stability issues or ongoing relationship difficulties.

2. Believing that you are not allowed to grieve or process going through a hard time simply because someone will always have it worse than you.

Allow me to share a story from this second example above. I’ll set the stage.

It’s a Monday morning. I’m rushed. My three year old is acting, well, three years old. I somehow arrive at my office with no laptop OR cell phone. It works out because I’m in in-person meetings most of the morning. One meeting happens to be a working lunch and I offer to pick up the delicious Chick-fil-A we chose to accompany our time together. Driving back I somehowforget to “mom-seatbelt” the meal I had sitting on the seat next to me as I brake for a red light. The entire contents of my colleague’s diet lemonade spill onto my car’s floorboard (I mean, not a drop left). Other things go flying into the puddle.

I arrive at the meeting, late. I am a hot mess. I proceed to share with my colleagues the Monday morning I’ve had so far with a final punctuation of “I mean, isn’t that a pretty terrible Monday?” There was laughter and empathy. But then the gentle remark came out: “but given the circumstances in Ukraine right now, I should have nothing to complain about.”

Friend. That statement is equally true and wrong.

It’s terrible what is happening in Ukraine. Full stop.

We mourn, lament, cry out and plead with God to protect His people and let justice rain.

And friend. Your grief, your pain, the wounds you are working so hard on healing are still valid. Your pain is still real. Yes, someone will always have it worse than you. And that doesn’t mean that what you are going through isn’t also hard.

A simple example I give in counseling sometimes is this: If you and a friend were in the same car accident and as a result, you lost a foot and they lost their leg, well, you still lost your foot.

Focus on sincere gratitude. Mourn and pray for others. Invest in your own healing.

We’d love to hear your thoughts about this timely and perhaps controversial subject. Email a reply to this letter any time. And if this felt like a tap on the shoulder to invest in your own healing, visit our website and get started with one of our therapists any time.

Warmly,

Alexandra Thompson, LCSW, and the Cumberland Counseling Team

Are you experiencing heightened stress? | Ukraine

"Take a deep breath. Let it out. What did you notice?"

This is something we say a lot when doing EMDR trauma work with our clients. As we process together in therapy the big, painful moments that have occurred throughout a client's life (that when processed alone and incorrectly can lead to anxiety, depression, even PTSD), it's a required part of the EMDR treatment to briefly stop, take a breath and just notice what's coming up.

More on EMDR later, but first - we wanted to take a moment and connect with you on how you may be feeling about the crisis in Ukraine.

Take a breath. What are you noticing?

Goodness, we've already been trudging through the incessant outcomes from a global pandemic together. For many of us, the crisis in Ukraine may add another layer of instability, fear, stress, anxiety...weight. We get that. And whatever it is you may be feeling is completely validated.

Here are a few simple tips - if you haven't considered them yet - that could be helpful to apply now.

1. Limit your media and social media consumption. Really.

2. Talk to someone who is like-minded enough to understand your concerns but who is not so like-minded that they may send you spiraling. A counselor would absolutely be a great person to talk to.

3. Give to an organization that already has boots on the ground.

4. Remember your three Circles of Control:

Things you can control:

• Time I carve out for self-care

• The way I choose to spend my time

• Communicating my needs

• How I vote
  

Things you can influence:

• My family, my children and my relationships

• My health, working hours and priorities

• The general "mood" in my environment

Things you cannot control:

• What others think about me

• What others do and say

• Other people's feelings and how they behave

• Natural disasters and foreign policy

Try to spend the majority of your time focusing on what you can control and what you can influence. Focus on how you are keeping your home emotionally and physically safe. On how you're staying present with your children when/if they have questions come up about the crisis Ukraine is facing now.

And if you can, put the rest away. I know it's a privilege to be able to do that, and that's okay.

Lastly, if you're noticing that it feels impossible to put the rest away, that you're feeling glued to the overwhelming flood of information or to the fear of the potential outcome of this crisis, I want you to look into where that might be coming from. Is it a past trauma you experienced? Is it a wound? Is it a message you received early on that comes up now, leading to a specific core belief about yourself or the world around you?

Maybe EMDR therapy is right for you!

EMDR therapy is a beautiful form of treatment which allows you to isolate and hold a disturbing memory in your mind (and really- a series of memories usually), processing together what's happening in your mind, until the disturbance is gone. This can take a while or this can be relatively quick. We'd love to work with you in this way or with the more traditional talk therapy.

Reach out any time: cumberlandcenters.org

Warmly,

Alexandra Thompson, LCSW, and the Cumberland Counseling Team

Valentine’s Day and Your Emotions

Can I share a story with you?

As I was closing out a typical therapy session with one of my clients and scheduling ahead for our following session, we looked all the way out to Monday, Feb. 14th, cross-checking both calendars and having some difficulty landing on the next best day for us to meet together within the next couple of weeks.

"Does this same time work for you on Feb. 14th?” I asked.

She grinned while continuing to look down and said, "Will you even be working that day, married lady?"

I looked up at her, blinking. I didn't immediately understand what she was referring to. "That's Valentine's Day, married lady. Will you be working at that time?"

We laughed together briefly; I made a joke and so did she. Ultimately, yes, we decided to meet in the late afternoon of Valentine’s Day for our next session.

Can I be honest with you though? It hadn't even occurred to me that people sometimes take that day off or part of the day off to celebrate Valentine's Day with their loved one. 

For many people, Valentine's Day can bring up a whole host of emotions depending on their circumstances. The symbol of Valentine's Day for this client is quite possibly very different than the Valentine's Day symbol for me. A longing, a grief, even a question of worthiness for one; a certainty, a celebration, an annual routine for another. You see, this red and pink holiday can be so much more than just a time when stores fill up with candy hearts, bouquets of red roses and red velvet cakes- galore.

We want to acknowledge that there's so much more than a simple dichotomy of married people or single people and their responses to this holiday. We want to hold space for people who find themselves unhappily married or in abusive marriages. Those who lost their spouse. Those who are grieving a relational loss or even those who long for children. If you're longing for children, cutesy Valentine's Day themed supermarkets bring up images of kitchen table crafts for little ones to exchange with their buddies and budding love-interests at school some day. Ugh, the gut punch.

Our romantic histories, our childhood trauma or family of origin, or even our current relationship status or longings can all impact how we relate to Valentine's Day. This upcoming holiday, which is already plastered all over the Targets and Walmarts in your town, can bring on a variety of emotions.

To name a few:

• Affection

• Admiration

• Arousal

• Longing

• Insignificance

• Grief

• Sadness

• Hopelessness

What do you feel when you think of Valentine's Day?

And remember, your emotions are like lights on the dashboard of your car.They are simply there to let you know something is going on beneath your surface that needs a little of your time and energy to take care of. Are your lights on on your dashboard? Would counseling sessions with a trained therapist help you sort some of those things out? If you think therapy could help you in this season, reach out any time by calling 678-653-2859 or visiting our counseling website and clicking "Make An Appointment." We’re ready for you.

Warmly,

Alexandra Thompson and the Cumberland Counseling Team

2021 Impact

"What can we do to help our community?" the Church often asks. We believe the answer in our day and age is this: to offer easy access to quality mental health care. That's what we at Cumberland Counseling Centers are called to do. But it doesn't happen through us alone. We're so grateful for the many people who have come alongside and are supporting this vision. Because of them, we were able to provide $30K in scholarship money in 2021 to our clients who would not be able to afford quality mental health care on their own. Last year we also launched our 2nd counseling site at GateCity Church in Lawrenceville, GA, enabling us to serve 118 clients at that site alone in its first year. This is only the beginning!

How’s Your Thinking?

2021 might have been a gift for us in some ways. Wait, hear me out on this. It was the year we slowly and gently got back on our feet. It was the year we realized this horrid COVID has not yet gone away. And the year we learned, or maybe just stepped into, our resilience. 

2021 was oh so hard, and for many of us, we may accidentally make it harder on ourself by stumbling into a habit of distorted thinking. [Raising my hand over here!]

Check out these examples of distorted thinking:

1. "2021 was just as bad, if not worse, than 2020. My life will never get better." (Fortune-Telling)

2. "I lost a job that I loved due to freaking COVID. All other jobs suck and I'll never enjoy work again." (All or Nothing Thinking)

3. "These past two years hit me really hard and I can't get out of my slump. I'm a failure." (Labeling)

4. I've had to be much more cautious than my friends and family members because of COVID. Everyone thinks I'm crazy and won't want to continue being my friend after this." (Mind Reading)

Have you struggled with any of these types of thought distortions?

Thought distortions are unhelpful habitual ways of thinking that are more times than not - false. They usually have a negative bias and leave your body feeling...yuck. Whether we realize it or not, our bodies carry the emotional impact of our thoughts. For example, have you ever felt rejected by a friend or colleague and later noticed a punched-in-the-gut feeling that lasted all day? Or after realizing you made a mistake on an important assignment, that feeling of failure registers in your body like a tightness in your chest or burning ears. Our bodies, minds and emotions are all intertwined and it's important to remember that.

What you think and how you feel will show up in your body.

So as we move forward in this new year, keep an eye on any thought distortions you might be having. Just take note of them. Then, try speaking a little truth into them.

Let's try that again:

1. "2021 was pretty terrible for a lot of legitimate reasons. I can be hopeful that 2022 will be marginally better and remind myself of my resilience when/if things get difficult again."

2. "It's a huge loss that I lost a job I really loved. And I know that if I really enjoyed a job once, there will be another that I can enjoy in the future. I just need to keep pursuing."

3. "Just because these last two years hit me hard doesn't mean I’m a failure. I can always start again, and even learn from what worked and what didn't work well for me."

4. ~Your turn. Try to change this distortion from above into a much kinder, more accurate thought.~

Friend, 2022 may be your best year yet.

May it be filled with Jesus and healing. And if you think therapy could help you in this season, reach out any time by calling 678-653-2859 or visiting our counseling website and tapping "Make An Appointment." We are ready for you!

Warmly,

Alexandra Thompson and Cumberland Counseling Team

Celebrate Your Wins!

Hello dear friends!

We hope your New Year is off to a good start. You know, a “good start” in 2022 may look different than previous years. In fact, we bet it does. Maybe you’re grieving a loss from 2021, or even 2020. Maybe you rang in the New Year with an unwelcome guest they call Omicron. Maybe you’re facing some other challenges in 2022. When you’re feeling less than confident about what’s ahead of you, one way to encourage yourself is to look back on what went well or what you can be grateful for, even if it’s something small. Celebrating small wins can make a huge difference. Think about the ways you grew in 2021. Just making it to 2022 is something we can all be thankful for, right?

As we looked back on the previous year we were amazed at the growth that took place, not just in individual lives, but as an organization. Truly it was a pivotal year for Cumberland Counseling. Here are some highlights from 2021 that we are oh, so grateful for.

1. Cumberland Counseling became Cumberland Counseling Centers, a nonprofit designed to meet the mental health needs of the community, regardless of income, by partnering with local churches. These partnerships allow us to keep overhead low so our impact and financial support for quality mental health care for all can remain high.

2. We opened up an additional location in Lawrenceville, GA, out of Gate City Church, where we can now serve the surrounding Lawrenceville area's mental health needs as well as offer hope, counsel, restoration and education to Gate City Church and the surrounding community.

3. We had our first Online Mental Health Conference called "Addressing the Elephants," where we spoke to issues like Passing Down Generational Parenting, Raising a Teen with Big Emotions, Healthy Sexuality and a Panel Discussion with our Counselors on Family Mental Health. Due to the online nature of our gathering, we were able to serve and get to know members of both communities (surrounding Smyrna and surrounding Lawrenceville).

4. We got to lead Mental Health 101 classes in both church communitiesas well as publicly to Cobb County through the Cobb Collaborative, AND got to know several faith leaders in Cobb County as we welcomed them in for a Faith and Mental Health Luncheon hosted at our Smyrna campus. 

5. We had our first annual Fun Run Fundraiser Event and raised approximately $23,000 to go toward supplements for our clients who could not ordinarily afford the same high quality of mental health therapy. Can we hear an “Amen?!”

6. Through the slow, intimate work that happens in therapy sessions we've seen lives, families, and relationships restored. Amen, amen and amen! This is why we do this work. We are honored to sit with these incredibly resilient people who want to know and love themselves, their people and their God more so they can pass that healing on to future generations. This work is generational, transformative work.

Why don’t you take a few minutes to count your wins from 2021? Then congratulate yourself for the progress you made. 

After all it’s PROGRESS, not PERFECTION, that makes the difference. 

We celebrate alongside you and look forward to all the growth that will come in 2022!

Warmly,

Alexandra Thompson and the Cumberland Counseling Team

Let’s Talk About Ending the Year with JOY

What brings you joy?

Ending the year and finishing out a busy holiday season can be exhausting. The second that last family member leaves or the moment you finally receive a little alone time, you audibly exhale. Your heart rate slows. You crash on the couch for a bit. Good, do that if you need to.

Here’s a tip that can help get you through to the finish line of that chaotic family season. Every day take note of at least one thing that brought you joy that day. Even in the hard, even in the frustrating. What brought you joy? Take out a journal and write it all down for 1-2 minutes (no biggie). And I bet one thing will turn into a few things you can identify.

Examples:

• Waking up and having coffee with milk each morning.

• My first 30 minutes of the day, just me and God.

• The way my son’s neck smells when I’m putting him to bed each night.

• The way my made-bed looks as I pull back the covers to climb in, as if it’s politely beckoning me.

You get the picture, right?

Even when things are really tough, you can find a few things that brought you joy, gratitude even. And research shows that real gratitude can have the same effects on the brain as an SSRI (depression medication). The kicker is it has to be genuine gratitude (the smell of a baby’s neck) not trite gratitude (I’m thankful for food and shelter, I’m thankful for my family). Unless of course those things perhaps were once in question and now you are really, truly, eyes-wide, thankful for them. Get it?

It’s amazing to us that God created the brain as intricately as He did. It’s amazing that we can see in God’s design that when we intentionally look for gratitude, our brain responds as if we had a human-made medication.

And absolutely do not hear this incorrectly - sometimes the best thing we need for a season or even for a lifetime (depending on the situation) is a medication. The same way you might need medication for diabetes or a heart condition.

Dear friend, God loves you so much.

He wants you to remember. Remember what True North is. Remember who you are IN Him. Remember you are not your brokenness, your trauma, your family’s past. You are His. And what He created is deeply, powerfully intricate - yet simple.

What brings joy and gratitude is usually incredibly powerful and important, yet simple. 

Made in God’s image. True North.

Keep your eyes on True North. And reach out if therapy services could be the next step in supporting you to do so.

Happy New Year, friend!

May 2022 be powerful, joy-filled and simple. May it be filled with Jesus and healing.

Reach out any time by calling 678-653-2859 or visiting our counseling website and tapping "Make An Appointment." We are ready for you.

Joy to the World! The Weary World Rejoices…

As Christmas and the holidays draw near, a couple phrases come to mind: "Joy to the World!" and "The Weary World Rejoices." It's interesting how these two lines in our traditional Christmas songs can be so true and yet so conflicting. "Joy to the World" invites feelings of celebration, togetherness and warmth. Decorating Christmas trees, eating cookies and listening to Charlie Brown Christmas album on repeat (it is the best Christmas music after all). While "The Weary World Rejoices" sounds a lot like how many of us actually experience Christmas time. Painful. Exhausting. Chaotic.

We rejoice knowing that Jesus came to us as the least of these - a baby born in slop - that He was killed to be our sacrifice, and rose from death, solidifying that he is in fact God, the maker of all things and that not even death can contain him.

Jesus came to us as the least of these - a baby born in slop.

We rejoice because we know why we celebrate Christmas, yet many of us rejoice out of a place of being weary. For many of us, our holiday family-time isn't a Joy to the World experience because it hurts to be together. Maybe this is because family relationships are broken, or have been wounded, or because some type of rupture has occurred and the repair has not yet been made.

For some of us the holidays are reminders that our special loved one is no longer with us and their gift will no longer be under that tree. Maybe the holidays are difficult because we can no longer be in relationship with our family for one reason or another, or because we never knew our biological family as a result of adoption or separation.

It's not lost on us that the holidays can be equal parts “Joy to the World” and “The Weary World Rejoices.” If you find yourself having a difficult time this holiday season for any reason, please know that you are not alone. You never were. You have a God-Father who loves you so much, knows you more intimately than you realize, and is in the holy business of restoration of hearts and families.

But you also have us - group of therapists who know the Lord and know how to care for broken hearts in a therapeutic capacity. If you'd like to get started now or any time in the future with one of our therapists, reach out on our website and click Make An Appointment. We'll tenderly hold your pain and walk you through the therapeutic, healing process.

Happy Holidays,

Alex Thompson and the Cumberland Counseling Team

Stay Tuned!

Come back soon for blog posts written by our counselors and staff!