Can I share a story with you?

As I was closing out a typical therapy session with one of my clients and scheduling ahead for our following session, we looked all the way out to Monday, Feb. 14th, cross-checking both calendars and having some difficulty landing on the next best day for us to meet together within the next couple of weeks.

"Does this same time work for you on Feb. 14th?” I asked.

She grinned while continuing to look down and said, "Will you even be working that day, married lady?"

I looked up at her, blinking. I didn't immediately understand what she was referring to. "That's Valentine's Day, married lady. Will you be working at that time?"

We laughed together briefly; I made a joke and so did she. Ultimately, yes, we decided to meet in the late afternoon of Valentine’s Day for our next session.

Can I be honest with you though? It hadn't even occurred to me that people sometimes take that day off or part of the day off to celebrate Valentine's Day with their loved one. 

For many people, Valentine's Day can bring up a whole host of emotions depending on their circumstances. The symbol of Valentine's Day for this client is quite possibly very different than the Valentine's Day symbol for me. A longing, a grief, even a question of worthiness for one; a certainty, a celebration, an annual routine for another. You see, this red and pink holiday can be so much more than just a time when stores fill up with candy hearts, bouquets of red roses and red velvet cakes- galore.

We want to acknowledge that there's so much more than a simple dichotomy of married people or single people and their responses to this holiday. We want to hold space for people who find themselves unhappily married or in abusive marriages. Those who lost their spouse. Those who are grieving a relational loss or even those who long for children. If you're longing for children, cutesy Valentine's Day themed supermarkets bring up images of kitchen table crafts for little ones to exchange with their buddies and budding love-interests at school some day. Ugh, the gut punch.

Our romantic histories, our childhood trauma or family of origin, or even our current relationship status or longings can all impact how we relate to Valentine's Day. This upcoming holiday, which is already plastered all over the Targets and Walmarts in your town, can bring on a variety of emotions.

To name a few:

• Affection

• Admiration

• Arousal

• Longing

• Insignificance

• Grief

• Sadness

• Hopelessness

What do you feel when you think of Valentine's Day?

And remember, your emotions are like lights on the dashboard of your car.They are simply there to let you know something is going on beneath your surface that needs a little of your time and energy to take care of. Are your lights on on your dashboard? Would counseling sessions with a trained therapist help you sort some of those things out? If you think therapy could help you in this season, reach out any time by calling 678-653-2859 or visiting our counseling website and clicking "Make An Appointment." We’re ready for you.

Warmly,

Alexandra Thompson and the Cumberland Counseling Team